Jareth: The Lower Third
Hidden Breadbasket !
We divided Jareth where the Goblin Symbol rests, which is right where his tummy would be if you
could see it. You can imagine it under there, or get
The Linguini Incident
for a little glimpse of it, and just pretend it's Jareth.
This region wasn't seen that often on movie men in the 80s. (At least, not outside the Action-genre.)
A modern Jareth would probably wear some
tight T-Shirt-thing all the time and even get a topless scene,
cuz writers today know that the ladies want to see everything. Maybe they figured people weren't interested back then. Or that it
would be anti-climactic compared to the
view of Jareth's other stuff. It is a little odd that he's confident about showing his wang, but he seems
like a modest dresser otherwise. It's probably all supposed to reflect Sarah's preoccupation with the male body,
and this means she's not
curious about the Breadbasket. Guys have lots of cool parts, and girls have preferences. Some of them are Arm Girls, Shoulder
Girls, Chest Girls, etc. Sarah may just be a Wang Girl, fascinated by the junk.
All of Bowie's parts are lovely, but the breadbasket is particularly cute to us. Like one of the
few, naturally soft parts on a guy who has been bony for much of his career. (Not criticizing the bony.
This is just one more area of Jareth that we'd like to get to know better.
Paws and Foots?
We assume that Jareth has feet and hands. Bowie does, so they must be under there somewhere.
But we never see them ! His footies are always covered in
high, dashing boots, and his paws are always in gloves. (They must have gone through a million pairs of gloves.)
There are a couple moments where he adjusts them, but he never actually takes them off.
He doesn't even remove them for the ballroom dancing scene. We think he should have been glove-less for this, because
it would convey intimacy and relationship, but in a subtle, non-sexual way. It would say a lot
for this setting to be the only skin-to-skin contact they have, and for this to be the only time his hands are visible.
It must have been avoided for some artistic reason that we can't think of.
Of course, leather gloves and boots are dapper, sophistimacated trimmings that
help give Jareth a kingly air of command. Seeing his paws all the time would be too humanizing, and seeing his foots would
be way too dressed-down. Still, it makes one wonder if his feet and hands are human-like. Are Jareth's eyebrows the only
Goblin characteristic he has?
Jareth has awesome legs. They're lean but pretty strong, and they seem to be perfectly shaped.
There's always been something captivating about Bowie's whole, physical self, and he has legs that you wish were yours.
Also, Jareth is captured at the age where guys begin to develop physically. He's a new animal - where the adult Bowie started taking over in force from the gaunt,
coked-out starkid of the 70s. Hopelessly adorable as he was then, ten years put better on him. He kept the lean
look, but got a more solid shape and even had some muscle. So Jareth is light and leggy, but doesn't look weak. He cuts the perfect figure
of a disciplined, English supervillain: all sculpted, tapered lines and high quality, low-fat protein.
The Junk !
People in the 80s didn't have the sexual savvy that they do today. They were having tons of sex (as
always), but sex wasn't as ubiquitous and casual in the media and pop culture. People back then were more modest, not as quick
to "go there," and we were more willing to ignore sexual references or toss them to the winds of cinematic artistry.
This could be why Jareth's Junk seems to get more mention now than it did back in the 80s.
That's certainly the case with us here at The Labyrinth Pages. Back in 1987, we noticed the junk, but our friends
never mentioned it and it wasn't an issue. We talked about this thing as a movie and didn't focus on the package.
Nowadays, any discussion of Labyrinth always gets package delivery, even with people we don't know that well.
Kids today get exposed to sexual content much earlier in life, so they learn to look for it everywhere. This is an
unfortunate mindset when it comes to Labyrinth, because the junk may be distracting for them and perhaps they don't
appreciate the film as it was intended.
But back to the package itself.
David Bowie has good stuff, and sometimes you can see it pretty clearly. Either the pants were very thin, or he
was commando under there, or both. We enjoy this, but we're not sure what the *male* fan experience is with it. Maybe it's annoying and it contributes to Labyrinth's Chick Flick
association. That would be a shame, but we understand. (If there's a faster way to disgust a hetero person than by showing
same-gender junk, we can't think of it.)
As for Jareth, he's obviously comfortable with the package visible. It's the behavior of an arrogant guy, or at least
someone who wants to put on such an act. Guys do get proud when it comes to their stuff. They like to show it off, and they even get
competitive; we've actually heard some negative reviews about Bowie's stuff, all from guys.
We don't understand that, because it looks great to us and it's the real thing. Bowie didn't even use stunt junk
The Man Who Fell to Earth. Takes bravery to go naked on camera.
At any rate, Jareth is wonderful. It's a great convenience that people tend to fall in love with him, cuz otherwise the
junk might be an unwanted visual. Instead it all goes together and it's nice to see, because he's the whole package! Heh.
We discuss this more extensively on the
And you may want to check out our
Sexy Links Page.
This concludes Jareth's Anatomy. We hope you've enjoyed his parts as much as we have!
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